How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You Meme

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Why Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You

Welcome to the shadowy world where your cat’s cuddle might just be a reconnaissance mission. Here, each purr is suspect, every gift a warning, and the innocent act of sleeping on your keyboard? A strategic move in the silent battle for dominance. This isn’t just another day in your cozy, cat-dominated household—it’s an insight into the cunning mind behind those whiskers. Discover the art of survival in a land where being ignored is a power play, and affection could be the prelude to an assassination attempt. With a blend of dark humor and unnerving accuracy, navigate the minefield of feline companionship where every adorable trait masks a calculated strategy for household control. Arm yourself with the knowledge to decipher the murder stares and midnight zoomies of your fluffy overlord. It’s a world where paranoia meets reality, and love for your pet comes with a side of suspicion. Dive into the darkly humorous life of cohabitation with the cutest of predators, and remember: it’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you.
How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You

Author: The Oatmeal
language: en
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Release Date: 2012-10-09
Jesus Rollerblading Christ--another helping of TheOatmeal! Mrow, MOAR kitty comics. Mr. Oats delivers a sidesplitting serving of cat humor in his new book, How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You. If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of comics, facts, and instructional guides about crazy cat behaviors from the creative wonderland at TheOatmeal.com. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You presents fan favorites, such as "Cat vs. Internet," "How to Pet a Kitty," and "The Bobcats," plus 17 brand-new, never-before-seen cat-themed comic strips. This Oatmeal collection is a must-have for cat-lovers from Mr. Oats!
My Dog: The Paradox

Author: The Oatmeal
language: en
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Release Date: 2013-05-07
This eponymous comic became an instant hit when it went live on The Oatmeal.com and was liked on Facebook by 700,000 fans. Now fans will have a keepsake book of this comic to give and to keep. In My Dog: The Paradox, Inman discusses the canine penchant for rolling in horse droppings, chasing large animals four times their size, and acting recklessly enthusiastic through the entirety of their impulsive, lovable lives. Hilarious and heartfelt, My Dog: The Paradox eloquently illustrates the complicated relationship between man and dog. We will never know why dogs fear hair dryers, or being baited into staring contests with cats, but as Inman explains, perhaps we love dogs so much “because their lives aren’t lengthy, logical, or deliberate, but an explosive paradox composed of fur, teeth, and enthusiasm.”