Beware Of Chicken
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Beware of God
Author: Shalom Auslander
language: en
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Release Date: 2007-11-01
Violent rabbis, lovelorn wives, a busy Grim Reaper, shame-filled simians, and one seriously angry deity populate this humorous and disquieting collection. Shalom Auslander's stories in Beware of God have the mysterious punch of a dream. They are wide ranging and inventive: A young Jewish man's inexplicable transformation into a very large, blond, tattooed goy ends with a Talmudic argument over whether or not his father can beat his unclean son with a copy of the Talmud. A pious man having a near-death experience discovers that God is actually a chicken, and he's forced to reconsider his life -- and his diet. At God's insistence, Leo Schwartzman searches Home Depot for supplies for an ark. And a young boy mistakes Holocaust Remembrance Day as emergency preparedness training for the future. Auslander draws upon his upbringing in an Orthodox Jewish community in New York State to craft stories that are filled with shame, sex, God, and death, but also manage to be wickedly funny and poignant.
Beware of Chicken
A laugh-out-loud, slice-of-life martial-arts fantasy about . . . farming Jin Rou wanted to be a cultivator. A man powerful enough to defy the heavens. A master of martial arts. A lord of spiritual power. Unfortunately for him, he died, and now I'm stuck in his body. Arrogant Masters? Heavenly Tribulations? All that violence and bloodshed? Yeah, no thanks. I'm getting out of here. Farm life sounds pretty great. Tilling a field by hand is fun when you've got the strength of ten men-though maybe I shouldn't have fed those Spirit Herbs to my pet rooster. I'm not used to seeing a chicken move with such grace . . . but Qi makes everything kind of wonky, so it's probably fine. Instead of a lifetime of battle, my biggest concerns are building a house, the size of my harvest, and the way the girl from the nearby village glares at me when I tease her. A slow, simple, fulfilling life in a place where nothing exciting or out of the ordinary ever happens . . . right? The first volume of the blockbuster progression-fantasy series-with more than 20 million views on Royal Road-now available on Kindle, Kindle Unlimited, and Audible!
Beware of Chicken 3
A laugh-out-loud, slice-of-life martial-arts fantasy about . . . farming Jin Rou wanted to be a cultivator. A man powerful enough to defy the heavens. A master of martial arts. A lord of spiritual power. Unfortunately for him, he died, and now I'm stuck in his body. As Jin, I'm a man of the earth. A wielder of shovels and lord of rice and wheat. And sure, I also had to die and get pulled into another universe to end up here. But guess what? I'm starting to think it was worth it. I've somehow managed to get away from it all. Finally free of the bloodshed of cultivator fights, I figure I'll live in the slow lane from here on out, my only real concern the rain--or lack thereof. Unfortunately, I've suddenly got a shady organization looking for me, my cat has gone off to fight in a martial arts tournament, and my chicken has uncovered an ancient crystal containing portents of doom. You know, the usual stuff. I'm not worried though. Sometimes trouble finds you. And while I may not be a master cultivator . . . trouble should know better than to mess with a farmer. The third volume of the blockbuster progression-fantasy series--with more than 20 million views on Royal Road--now available on Kindle, Kindle Unlimited, and Audible!